Post by ICHIROU YUKISHIMA on Jun 30, 2015 20:18:27 GMT -6
ICHIROU YUKISHIMA
24 ♦ MALE ♦ DEMISEXUAL ♦ CAT ♦ STREET PERFORMER ♦ YASU
HISTORIA
I was never attached to status. The political affairs my father and mother talked of, the nobility of our family, even my responsibilities as the eldest son and heir to the Yukishima household, I never saw any worth in them. But that was who I was, so I followed expectations as ideally as they wished me to. Abiding by other people's whims, I was content with being strung along.
I wasn't happy, but as long as I wasn't unhappy, then I would live to see the sun rise the next morning. And the next. And the next, and the next until either the sun stopped rising or I ceased to wake at dawn.
I think I should have been warmer to my little brother. The hand that ruffled his hair was warm, but I'm sure that it felt cold as well. I can't speak of my overwhelming affections, I can't proclaim my undying devotion, but it would be a lie to say I didn't care for him.
I wish I could have conveyed that more clearly.
My box was opened before it was time. I was nineteen years old, and the chaos hit like a tidal wave. Though... no, tidal waves give warning signs. The panic and horror of the servants came at me suddenly, out of nowhere. My parents scolded me too, asked me what I'd done and why I'd done it. When I insisted I didn't know what they were talking about, that I hadn't done anything that I'd only ever done exactly what they told me, it all felt unfair when their eyes bore down on me with distrust and betrayal. I was the one betrayed, I felt. I wasn't even happy, but I listened to them and I was as good as I could be, so what were they dissatisfied with?
My father's palm smacking me settled it all though. It's only then that they told me my box had been opened, and even though I knew I didn't do it, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. They wouldn't believe me, and my dignity that I hadn't even known I possessed wouldn't let me stoop to what would look like desperation.
My cheek burned more than my shame as I bowed my head to my parents, and apologized.
The rumors started up after. Distant relatives whispered about the cursed son, my parents didn't want to look at me, and my brother ran from the mere meeting of our eyes. And when the Yukishima name hung in the balance my zodiac became the cat, I heard my mother discussing banishment. I was unwanted, I was a threat. Aside from having nowhere to go, there was nothing left in that house for me, no one left.
I thought, "I should just show myself out." I thought, "I won't miss much."
At that point, I didn't care if I lived or died. I can't remember having an attachment to anything back then, not even myself. It seemed like a good back up plan, dying. If everything went wrong, I knew I'd be dead eventually. Everything seemed easier to handle when I thought of it like that, like, "I'll be dead eventually anyways, it's fine. I only have so much time to live."
That's what I thought of when I jumped in front of a dagger aimed for someone else. I was nearby, and if I didn't care for this life then it wasn't too bad a way to go saving someone else. It would have been better than waiting for my curse to take me, at least.
Except I guess the attacker wasn't very determined. They'd seen injuries on someone unrelated, and fled in terror. I don't think I actually remember the first time I met him. I passed out too quickly from blood loss and malnourishment.
He ended up staying with me until my injuries were better, and after that he never really left. He asked if he should go, once my wound had closed completely, but I didn't mind his company. It was just a bit hard for me to be straightforward, so it ended up sounding more like, "You don't have to go." It seemed to make him happy anyways though.
We grew closer from then. Or rather, he started making "observations" of me. He called me weird more times than I bothered to count, but in the end he stated casually that I was just plain bad with people. That I had a hard time conveying my feelings, that I "sucked ass at it". At first I had nothing to offer in return, but soon enough it went both ways. I grew to know someone for the first time, and someone took the time to understand me too.
He once joked about how he was probably my first friend in twenty years, but when I agreed he hugged me and told me that at least I did a good job picking him.
He brought up the idea of being street performers suddenly. We'd gotten by by selling some of my clothes, and doing various errands and labor, but soon we'd have to resort to theft. He had a few skills he'd picked up, and the ears on his head added to the act, but apparently I was the one who needed serious practice.
At first our duo didn't do too well, but we both learned and adapted. I mastered a few parlor tricks and worked on my sales pitch while he dedicated more time to perfecting odd and difficult tricks. We made enough to avoid going hungry, and I found that even when I wasn't trying to rope in people, I smiled more and laughed more until it was normal to do those things around him.
It's been a long time since I was last home.
I wasn't happy, but as long as I wasn't unhappy, then I would live to see the sun rise the next morning. And the next. And the next, and the next until either the sun stopped rising or I ceased to wake at dawn.
"Brother, can you help with my poetry?"
"...alright, what do you need?"
"This line here, Ishido said it's awkward and weird."
"Hm... I would shift these words around. And replace this one."
"Oh! It reads a lot better now, thank you!"
"It was no trouble."
...
"Is there... something else you need?"
"Uh, no, I was just... I'll get going now."
"I see. See you then, █▒█."
I think I should have been warmer to my little brother. The hand that ruffled his hair was warm, but I'm sure that it felt cold as well. I can't speak of my overwhelming affections, I can't proclaim my undying devotion, but it would be a lie to say I didn't care for him.
I wish I could have conveyed that more clearly.
✦ ❈ ✦ ❈ ✦ ❈
My box was opened before it was time. I was nineteen years old, and the chaos hit like a tidal wave. Though... no, tidal waves give warning signs. The panic and horror of the servants came at me suddenly, out of nowhere. My parents scolded me too, asked me what I'd done and why I'd done it. When I insisted I didn't know what they were talking about, that I hadn't done anything that I'd only ever done exactly what they told me, it all felt unfair when their eyes bore down on me with distrust and betrayal. I was the one betrayed, I felt. I wasn't even happy, but I listened to them and I was as good as I could be, so what were they dissatisfied with?
My father's palm smacking me settled it all though. It's only then that they told me my box had been opened, and even though I knew I didn't do it, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. They wouldn't believe me, and my dignity that I hadn't even known I possessed wouldn't let me stoop to what would look like desperation.
My cheek burned more than my shame as I bowed my head to my parents, and apologized.
✦ ❈ ✦ ❈ ✦ ❈
The rumors started up after. Distant relatives whispered about the cursed son, my parents didn't want to look at me, and my brother ran from the mere meeting of our eyes. And when the Yukishima name hung in the balance my zodiac became the cat, I heard my mother discussing banishment. I was unwanted, I was a threat. Aside from having nowhere to go, there was nothing left in that house for me, no one left.
I thought, "I should just show myself out." I thought, "I won't miss much."
"Wait! Brother!"
"█▒█..."
"Where are you going? It's late, you should... go to sleep."
"Is that an order, as the next heir?"
"What--no! Come back, isn't it cold out?"
"...I don't mind it."
...
...
"A-Are you leaving?"
"Are you happy to see me go?"
"Of course not! I'd never... because I...!"
...
"...so it was you. I didn't know you hated me so much."
...
"...so it was you. I didn't know you hated me so much."
"I don't, it was a mistake I thought--"
"You're a bad liar."
"...I'm wasting moonlight. Keep that item, I don't need it."
"...I'm wasting moonlight. Keep that item, I don't need it."
At that point, I didn't care if I lived or died. I can't remember having an attachment to anything back then, not even myself. It seemed like a good back up plan, dying. If everything went wrong, I knew I'd be dead eventually. Everything seemed easier to handle when I thought of it like that, like, "I'll be dead eventually anyways, it's fine. I only have so much time to live."
That's what I thought of when I jumped in front of a dagger aimed for someone else. I was nearby, and if I didn't care for this life then it wasn't too bad a way to go saving someone else. It would have been better than waiting for my curse to take me, at least.
Except I guess the attacker wasn't very determined. They'd seen injuries on someone unrelated, and fled in terror. I don't think I actually remember the first time I met him. I passed out too quickly from blood loss and malnourishment.
"Heey thanks from jumping in back there, you've got some damn guts!"
"...it wasn't a big deal."
"Huh, well alright Mr. Bleeding-to-Death, if you say so."
...
"You're kind of a gloomy guy, aren'tcha."
"Uh, sorry..."
"Eh whatever, you saved my ass so I guess I gotta stick with ya till you heal."
"No, you don't really have to. You can go."
"...you are seriously one weird fella."
"...it wasn't a big deal."
"Huh, well alright Mr. Bleeding-to-Death, if you say so."
...
"You're kind of a gloomy guy, aren'tcha."
"Uh, sorry..."
"Eh whatever, you saved my ass so I guess I gotta stick with ya till you heal."
"No, you don't really have to. You can go."
"...you are seriously one weird fella."
He ended up staying with me until my injuries were better, and after that he never really left. He asked if he should go, once my wound had closed completely, but I didn't mind his company. It was just a bit hard for me to be straightforward, so it ended up sounding more like, "You don't have to go." It seemed to make him happy anyways though.
✦ ❈ ✦ ❈ ✦ ❈
We grew closer from then. Or rather, he started making "observations" of me. He called me weird more times than I bothered to count, but in the end he stated casually that I was just plain bad with people. That I had a hard time conveying my feelings, that I "sucked ass at it". At first I had nothing to offer in return, but soon enough it went both ways. I grew to know someone for the first time, and someone took the time to understand me too.
He once joked about how he was probably my first friend in twenty years, but when I agreed he hugged me and told me that at least I did a good job picking him.
✦ ❈ ✦ ❈ ✦ ❈
He brought up the idea of being street performers suddenly. We'd gotten by by selling some of my clothes, and doing various errands and labor, but soon we'd have to resort to theft. He had a few skills he'd picked up, and the ears on his head added to the act, but apparently I was the one who needed serious practice.
At first our duo didn't do too well, but we both learned and adapted. I mastered a few parlor tricks and worked on my sales pitch while he dedicated more time to perfecting odd and difficult tricks. We made enough to avoid going hungry, and I found that even when I wasn't trying to rope in people, I smiled more and laughed more until it was normal to do those things around him.
"I'm really glad I met you."
"Where'd that come from? I'm pretty glad you did too though! I might be dead if you hadn't, aha!"
"Right, I saved you back then!"
"Oh don't grin like that! You passed out immediately after, remember?"
"'After' is the keyword y'know."
"Aaah shut it."
...
"I don't want to die anymore either."
"...what?"
"My zodiac, I never told you did I? It's the cat."
"So that's why you've never used the thing, huh?"
"No, that's because I don't have it. I left it with someone else. I thought it'd be fine if I died, maybe I even wanted to, but I don't think like that anymore. I want to keep living... with you for as long as I can."
"Me too, I wanna keep you around s'long as possible! So let's work on breaking that curse of yours, alright?"
"Where'd that come from? I'm pretty glad you did too though! I might be dead if you hadn't, aha!"
"Right, I saved you back then!"
"Oh don't grin like that! You passed out immediately after, remember?"
"'After' is the keyword y'know."
"Aaah shut it."
...
"I don't want to die anymore either."
"...what?"
"My zodiac, I never told you did I? It's the cat."
"So that's why you've never used the thing, huh?"
"No, that's because I don't have it. I left it with someone else. I thought it'd be fine if I died, maybe I even wanted to, but I don't think like that anymore. I want to keep living... with you for as long as I can."
"Me too, I wanna keep you around s'long as possible! So let's work on breaking that curse of yours, alright?"
It's been a long time since I was last home.
OTHER
PLAYER BACKGROUND. I followed the yellow brick road, crossed the candy cane forest, and traveled through a waterfall. The waterfall was my tears. Because Shamabala was reopening.
PLAY BY. TOUKEN RANBU - TSURUMARU KUNINAGA - ICHIROU YUKISHIMA
PLAY BY. TOUKEN RANBU - TSURUMARU KUNINAGA - ICHIROU YUKISHIMA
